Britney Spears

She said: "Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking about things that I stress about."

We Say: But Britney no read???

She said: "I don't really have time to sit down and write. But when I think of a melody, I call up my answering machine and sing it, so I won't forget it."

We Say: Is that how you practice lipsyncing, with caller tunes??

She said: "I go out with friends, but I don't have time to get in trouble."

We Say: Yep, no trouble, all she's done is dropped babies, got drunk and married guys for a day, got arrested, kissed 40 yr old women, shaved her head... yep, no trouble at all.

She said: "I want to wait to have sex until I'm married."

We don't Say.

She said: "I wish my hair was thicker, and I wish my feet were prettier. My toes are really ugly. I wish my ears were smaller. And my nose could be smaller too."

We Say: Your hands - they're really ugly as well.

She said: "I would really, really, really like to be a legend like Madonna."

We Say: And if you can't be the woman, just smooch the **** out of her.

She said: "I would like to be called an inspiration to people."

We Say: But - you're Britney Spears. You're automatically disqualified. What do you want anyway? - mothers telling their children: "You must grow up to be just like Britney Spears - marry and divorce twice before you're 25, go into a mental clinic, be seen 99% naked in public and be Paris Hilton's best friend".

She said: "Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person?"

We Say: The penalty of saying something as evil as that is death.

She said: "I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff."

We Say: But -